anotherjadedwriter:

• you tried to do some lifting without a spotter and I had to pick the bar up so you could get out from under it AU
  
• I swear to god I was taking pictures of that bird and not you when I fell out of this tree AU
• you’ve been asking me for a pen literally every day what is your name and what do you do with my pens AU
• I came to get a used book stop following me and recommending things AU
• we’ve never spoken but I live down the street and  have way too many tomatoes please take these AU
• you know this is a dog park right why do you have a cat on a leash AU
• the subway stopped really fast and you fell into my grandma but seriously stop apologizing AU
• you’re my new personal trainer and I’m really out of shape please slow down AU
• I passed out drunk on a bench and you called the cops because you thought I was dead AU